newsletter-new-02

Why does change overcome many of us with anxiety? Is it fear of the unknown, or fear of failure, or a combination of the two? Marilyn Ferguson describes the anxious feelings beautifully: "It's like being between trapezes. It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer." I'd like to share brief stories about six remodeling projects. Three projects flowed smoothly, like chocolate syrup on vanilla ice cream, and three of the projects were like curdled milk, filled with sour lumps that develop when lemon juice is poured into milk.

Have you ever noticed that people who embrace change ultimately enjoy life more, and achieve more success personally and professionally? Relating this to building and remodeling, quickly reviewing all of the clients (and contractors) I've worked with in the past 25 years, the ones who entered into a project with an adventurous spirit and maintained a positive attitude throughout, achieved the best results. So, I've decided to share some observations and recommendations that I hope will help you survive -- and enjoy -- the transformation of your home.

First, the "negative" projects. Fortunately, there haven't been very many, as my husband pointed out, because I work hard to help homeowners understand what they're getting into, before they get into it. The people who have problems during design and construction generally have unrealistic expectations that they cling to like a life preserver. One couple wanted to replicate a screened living area that they had at another home, although their new home was totally different, and the weather was not conducive for outdoor entertaining, except during the summer.

Another couple said they wanted to remodel the home they'd lived in for over 30 years -- a major project, including an addition and structural changes -- but they were used to the home as it was, like a pair of worn down, old, comfortable shoes. The husband was convinced that the entire project could be accomplished for around $80,000, but his wife was more realistic (probably because she enjoyed watching HGTV), and expected their investment to be around $200,000. These problems were compounded by the way that the couple talked to (never with) each other, with no respect, compassion, or empathy.

The third example I'm sharing has been fairly common throughout my career, especially if the husband is (or has been) at the top management level in his career. I've had couples where the husband gave his wife free reign to do whatever she wanted, and he just paid the bills. Fortunately, I've only had one or two couples where the husband ruled, and made all of the decisions, whether it was good or bad for his wife. In instances like this, I've worked hard to be an advocate for the wife. My third negative example is one of these relationships, where the husband was convinced that his wife wasn't smart enough to know what was good for her, or make good decisions.

The husband called me, and we talked at great length about the home that he and his wife had just purchased, which was included on the historical register. He was adamant about enlarging the kitchen, which would change the front facade of the home. Before I met with the couple, I spent several hours talking with building officials, restoration specialists, and the head of the historical registry. All of them verified that what he wanted to do could not be done.

Have you ever drowned out the little voice that says to you, "Danger! Be careful!" Well, I made that mistake with this project, because the project itself was so interesting, and felt that I could win over the husband, but I was too optimistic. He fought me at every turn, and tried very hard to get me to be nothing more than a drafting service. After several weeks of fighting with him, I decided to let him go, with a feeling of great relief.

Now, the "positive" projects. There have been so many! There are similarities in the homeowners' attitudes, although the projects have varied widely. The first couple were referred to me by their contractor. Based on his recommendation, they bought my book and read it before they scheduled our first appointment. They get gold stars for preparedness! They knew what they wanted, and why they wanted it. They always treated each other with highest respect, and theirs is one of the best projects I've ever worked on, because it was a solid team effort from beginning to end.

I've referred to the second couple several times in the past months since creating these newsletters. I first met them at a home remodeling show. Immediately, and magically, our personalities clicked. It's clear that they're used to sharing the decision-making process, which reduces the possibility of surprises to zero. I've worked with them for over five years -- first remodeling three bathrooms in their former home, and most recently, helping them build their new home. In the hundreds of hours we've spent together, there's never been any anger or misunderstanding.

Interestingly, the third couple is very similar to the other two couples. Both of them arranged their busy schedules to be available for meetings, and discussed every detail openly, honestly, and respectfully. He let her make decisions that were important to her, and vice-versa. This was another project that flowed smoothly from beginning to end, because the communication was stellar, and their expectations were realistic.

If you're thinking about building a new home, or remodeling your existing home, please take a few minutes to think about how you feel about change, and the period of transition that you'll be going through. There are no absolute right or wrong answers to the following questions:

Why do you want to remodel (or build) your home?
What is most fearful to you, when you think about change?
How do you honestly rate the communication between you and your significant other, and members of your family?
How much do you want to invest in your project?
When do you want to start and complete your project?
What specific results do you want to achieve? Why?

There are many similar questions in the first chapter of my book, "THE Survival Guide: Home Remodeling," which is available for only $29.95. Or, you can purchase individual chapters of my book for $9.95 each. The price for the book and individual chapters includes standard book-rate mailing. The link to order the book, or specific chapters is orders@dp-design.com.

--o0o--

PLESSET'S PRINCIPLES FOR TOMORROW'S DESIGNERS

COMMUNICATION IS VITAL!

As a design student, no teacher or guest lecturer spoke in any of my classes about the importance of communication. I entered into the profession expecting clients to automatically understand what I was trying to achieve for them. That was 25 years ago. It didn't take long to realize that the best results are achieved when I work with my clients, with understanding, enthusiasm, and sincerity.

I hope things have changed in education, that design programs and schools offer verbal and written communication classes. If the school you're attending doesn't have a psychology department, my sincere advice is to take classes in psychology and communication. Partner with a family member or friend that's not a design student, and practice communicating your solutions through a complete hypothetical project. Learn to really listen; that's the essence of communication. A wonderful communication tool to investigate is Dale Carnegie courses: http://www.dalecarnegie.com

The Carnegie course was very helpful for me, but I still forget sometimes, and catch myself interrupting others, especially when an exciting idea flashes between my ears. Communication, like design, involves ongoing education and daily practice.

Written communication is as important as verbal communication in today's world of easy technology. Never send an e-mail when you are angry! Cool off, and read it several hours later (or the next day), and put yourself in the position of the recipient. This is another lesson that I've learned the hard way. Also, diligently use spell checker, and try to use proper grammar when compositing e-mails and other correspondence.

Ultimately, you will be working with clients who have a high expectation for your ability to use English properly. I had an assistant a couple of years ago who talked with clients, contractors, and suppliers like she talked with her friends. "You guys" was one of her pet phrases, and it was very difficult for her to learn new communication skills, until I made it a requirement of keeping her job with me. Mature women don't like to be called "guys"!

--o0o--

"Plesset's Principles for Today is Home" is YOUR personal information service, to help you make informed decisions about every aspect of your building or remodeling project. Send an e-mail today with your questions to: Q@dp-design.com

IN THIS ISSUE: Coping With Change Communication Is Vital!			Dear [dear] Out and about this past weekend, shopping for new living room chairs, and traveling to a meeting yesterday, it seems like the fall colors are more spectacular this year than the past several years. I hope you get to enjoy changing of seasons where you live, even if it's not a severe change. Change is a wonderful thing, even if it seems to be negative, because the transition can lead to something better than you could imagine. For two years, we've been using chairs that I purchased at a consignment shop, so we could have seating for our guests. I knew when I purchased the chairs that they were well-made, and comfortable, but they were upholstered in a mauve color that doesn't enhance our natural color scheme. If we could find new chairs, it would allow me to enter our living room into design competition. Skipping to the end of the story, we found the perfect chairs for $95 each at the consignment store. I've seen similar "mid-century modern" chairs online for as much as $600 each. The next day, I found great fabric for the existing chairs (and sofa pillows) at a mill-end store. We're going to transform the look of our living room for a small investment. But it had to be the right time, or everything might not have fallen together so beautifully. One thing I've learned from building and remodeling: Change is inevitable, but it has to progress naturally, like the seasons. With Inspired Ideas For Your Home,
QUICK LINKS:
dp-design.com
Diane's MySpace
Diane's FaceBook
Diane on Twitter
Diane on Linkedin
orders@dp-design.com
Send to a Friend
Q@dp-design.com

		Plesset's Principles for Today's Home® COPING WITH CHANGE Why does change overcome many of us with anxiety? Is it fear of the unknown, or fear of failure, or a combination of the two? Marilyn Ferguson describes the anxious feelings beautifully: "It's like being between trapezes. It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer." I'd like to share brief stories about six remodeling projects. Three projects flowed smoothly, like chocolate syrup on vanilla ice cream, and three of the projects were like curdled milk, filled with sour lumps that develop when lemon juice is poured into milk. Have you ever noticed that people who embrace change ultimately enjoy life more, and achieve more success personally and professionally? Relating this to building and remodeling, quickly reviewing all of the clients (and contractors) I've worked with in the past 25 years, the ones who entered into a project with an adventurous spirit and maintained a positive attitude throughout, achieved the best results. So, I've decided to share some observations and recommendations that I hope will help you survive -- and enjoy -- the transformation of your home. First, the "negative" projects. Fortunately, there haven't been very many, as my husband pointed out, because I work hard to help homeowners understand what they're getting into, before they get into it. The people who have problems during design and construction generally have unrealistic expectations that they cling to like a life preserver. One couple wanted to replicate a screened living area that they had at another home, although their new home was totally different, and the weather was not conducive for outdoor entertaining, except during the summer. Another couple said they wanted to remodel the home they'd lived in for over 30 years -- a major project, including an addition and structural changes -- but they were used to the home as it was, like a pair of worn down, old, comfortable shoes. The husband was convinced that the entire project could be accomplished for around $80,000, but his wife was more realistic (probably because she enjoyed watching HGTV), and expected their investment to be around $200,000. These problems were compounded by the way that the couple talked to (never with) each other, with no respect, compassion, or empathy. The third example I'm sharing has been fairly common throughout my career, especially if the husband is (or has been) at the top management level in his career. I've had couples where the husband gave his wife free reign to do whatever she wanted, and he just paid the bills. Fortunately, I've only had one or two couples where the husband ruled, and made all of the decisions, whether it was good or bad for his wife. In instances like this, I've worked hard to be an advocate for the wife. My third negative example is one of these relationships, where the husband was convinced that his wife wasn't smart enough to know what was good for her, or make good decisions. The husband called me, and we talked at great length about the home that he and his wife had just purchased, which was included on the historical register. He was adamant about enlarging the kitchen, which would change the front facade of the home. Before I met with the couple, I spent several hours talking with building officials, restoration specialists, and the head of the historical registry. All of them verified that what he wanted to do could not be done. Have you ever drowned out the little voice that says to you, "Danger! Be careful!" Well, I made that mistake with this project, because the project itself was so interesting, and felt that I could win over the husband, but I was too optimistic. He fought me at every turn, and tried very hard to get me to be nothing more than a drafting service. After several weeks of fighting with him, I decided to let him go, with a feeling of great relief. Now, the "positive" projects. There have been so many! There are similarities in the homeowners' attitudes, although the projects have varied widely. The first couple were referred to me by their contractor. Based on his recommendation, they bought my book and read it before they scheduled our first appointment. They get gold stars for preparedness! They knew what they wanted, and why they wanted it. They always treated each other with highest respect, and theirs is one of the best projects I've ever worked on, because it was a solid team effort from beginning to end. I've referred to the second couple several times in the past months since creating these newsletters. I first met them at a home remodeling show. Immediately, and magically, our personalities clicked. It's clear that they're used to sharing the decision-making process, which reduces the possibility of surprises to zero. I've worked with them for over five years -- first remodeling three bathrooms in their former home, and most recently, helping them build their new home. In the hundreds of hours we've spent together, there's never been any anger or misunderstanding. Interestingly, the third couple is very similar to the other two couples. Both of them arranged their busy schedules to be available for meetings, and discussed every detail openly, honestly, and respectfully. He let her make decisions that were important to her, and vice-versa. This was another project that flowed smoothly from beginning to end, because the communication was stellar, and their expectations were realistic. If you're thinking about building a new home, or remodeling your existing home, please take a few minutes to think about how you feel about change, and the period of transition that you'll be going through. There are no absolute right or wrong answers to the following questions: Why do you want to remodel (or build) your home? What is most fearful to you, when you think about change? How do you honestly rate the communication between you and your significant other, and members of your family? How much do you want to invest in your project? When do you want to start and complete your project? What specific results do you want to achieve? Why? There are many similar questions in the first chapter of my book, "THE Survival Guide: Home Remodeling," which is available for only $29.95. Or, you can purchase individual chapters of my book for $9.95 each. The price for the book and individual chapters includes standard book-rate mailing. The link to order the book, or specific chapters is orders@dp-design.com. --o0o-- PLESSET'S PRINCIPLES FOR TOMORROW'S DESIGNERS COMMUNICATION IS VITAL! As a design student, no teacher or guest lecturer spoke in any of my classes about the importance of communication. I entered into the profession expecting clients to automatically understand what I was trying to achieve for them. That was 25 years ago. It didn't take long to realize that the best results are achieved when I work with my clients, with understanding, enthusiasm, and sincerity. I hope things have changed in education, that design programs and schools offer verbal and written communication classes. If the school you're attending doesn't have a psychology department, my sincere advice is to take classes in psychology and communication. Partner with a family member or friend that's not a design student, and practice communicating your solutions through a complete hypothetical project. Learn to really listen; that's the essence of communication. A wonderful communication tool to investigate is Dale Carnegie courses: http://www.dalecarnegie.com The Carnegie course was very helpful for me, but I still forget sometimes, and catch myself interrupting others, especially when an exciting idea flashes between my ears. Communication, like design, involves ongoing education and daily practice. Written communication is as important as verbal communication in today's world of easy technology. Never send an e-mail when you are angry! Cool off, and read it several hours later (or the next day), and put yourself in the position of the recipient. This is another lesson that I've learned the hard way. Also, diligently use spell checker, and try to use proper grammar when compositing e-mails and other correspondence. Ultimately, you will be working with clients who have a high expectation for your ability to use English properly. I had an assistant a couple of years ago who talked with clients, contractors, and suppliers like she talked with her friends. "You guys" was one of her pet phrases, and it was very difficult for her to learn new communication skills, until I made it a requirement of keeping her job with me. Mature women don't like to be called "guys"! --o0o-- "Plesset's Principles for Today is Home" is YOUR personal information service, to help you make informed decisions about every aspect of your building or remodeling project. Send an e-mail today with your questions to: Q@dp-design.com
		a
		ABOUT DIANE Diane established D. P. Design in April of 1984, to help homeowners, like you, achieve the best building and remodeling experience with her personalized consulting, design services, seminars, articles, and books. She is a homeowner advocate, an award-winning designer and author, and former co-host of a weekly radio program. "Plesset's Principles for Today's Home®" is another avenue for Diane to express her passion for helping people, using her God-given talents, education, and experience to provide "Inspired Ideas for Your Home®". She is one of about 150 designers in the United States with multiple certifications as a Master Kitchen-Bath Designer, Interior Designer, and Aging-in-Place Specialist. Diane can help you achieve your building or remodeling goals, using state-of-the-art computer aided drafting software ("Archicad"). To request more information, visit Diane's website, or send an e-mail to Diane: Q@dp-design.com. You are welcome to share this newsletter. We request that you copy and paste it in its entirety, including Diane's bio.
		a
		DIANE PLESSET, CMKBD, NCIDQ #13029, C.A.P.S. D. P. DESIGN P.O. Box 1132 Oregon City, OR. 97045 IF YOU WISH TO STOP RECEIVING THESE E-MAILS, REPLY WITH "UNSUBSCRIBE" IN THE SUBJECT LINE © 2009 D. P. Design - All Rights Reserved
		a